Tradition

The more people you have in a group, the more complicated the dynamics.  This is true even in families.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I love each one of my children's spouses as my own children and respect the experiences and traditions they bring to our family.  It can't be easy finding your own niche in a large family but my sons and daughters-in-law are doing an admirable job fitting in.  I love them.

The complications arise during holidays.  Even when cultures are similar, every family develops its own traditions that are assumed to be passed down to future generations.  That's all fine unless a particular time-honored tradition clashes with your new in-laws time-honored different tradition. 

If you want to maintain a healthy relationship with your children's spouses, you're going to have to learn how to be diplomatic and maybe even compromise.  Encourage your married children to develop their own traditions with their families and encourage them to support both sets of extended family traditions when possible.  It might be time to make some new traditions that encompass the new growing family.  One thing I learned is not to be stubborn and insist that things are done the way they've always been done. 

Traditions may be important, but maintaining a good relationship with your children and their families is far more important in the long run.