My youngest daughter

Love you KP!

I just got back from taking my youngest daughter to the airport so she can go back to school after Spring Break.  I wish the time hadn't gone by so quickly!  Every time I see her, she seems more mature and almost an adult  :)  Ok, she's my youngest so maybe I don't see her as objectively as I should :) To her credit, she's only 20 years old but she's a Junior in college with a straight A average.  She is working her way through school and still has time for an active social life. 

On the way to the airport, she was lamenting to me how some of her older siblings still treat her like a little child.  I tried to explain that in their minds, she is still the age she was when they left home.  They haven't been an active part of her life to see her grow up and change from that little girl into a young woman.   Old habits and thoughts die hard.

Life is all about change.  Change is all about growth.  Growth is all about reaching your potential.  My youngest is well on her way to reaching her potential.  I'm so proud of her  :)

Camping

I just got back from my first camping trip of the season with two of my married children, their families, my daughter who's home from school on break, and my husband.  We chose a campground that's only about 40 miles away, with good facilities and not too far off the beaten path.

I will admit that I'm used to camping in the summer when it's warm and sunny but we were fortunate that it didn't rain and it wasn't too cold.  I think I'm still a summer camping girl  :)  and a warm comfortable bed sounds pretty good too!

Who goes camping in April?!

I'd forgotten how scary it is to go camping with little children.  The grandchildren who went on this trip are three and one.  Their parents take them camping often but all I could think about was the three year old wandering off and getting lost and the baby getting too near the campfire.  Call me paranoid but my mind tends to imagine the worst possible scenario.  They did really well though.  Their mother set up a bright yellow rope around the perimeter of the campsite to give boundaries to the children.  That was a really good idea and they actually stayed within their limits.  She has obviously been doing this for a while!

We have two tents, a large one and a smaller, easier to set up one.  Because this was a short trip, I chose the smaller tent.  Key learning - my husband like to be able to stand up in his tent and I don't particularly enjoy crawling around the tent either!  Next time we'll use the larger tent  :)

So, for a first camping trip of the season, we did ok.  There are a few things we were lacking that would have made the trip more enjoyable (like folding camp chairs) but we'll work on getting those as we find them on sale.  And, I think we'll have a few backyard camping "trips".  At least we can use our own bathroom!  Porta-potties are gross!!!

Routine health checks

Two weeks ago, a good friend went in for her annual, routine mammogram.  The results showed a lump which was biopsied and found to be cancer.  Without the mammogram, the lump would have gone unnoticed due to its location.  Today, only two weeks later, she had surgery to remove the lump and some lymph nodes and is expected to make a full recovery. 

Some things are just not on the top of my "favorite things to do" list.  That list includes colonoscopies, mammograms, pap smears, and anything that requires needles inserted into my skin.  Unfortunately (fortunately, really), these tests and procedures are meant to catch things that are amiss in our bodies that we might not otherwise notice.  Even if they are a pain in the ---, they can save lives and prevent some pretty nasty diseases from taking over our bodies. 

I actually did have a colonoscopy last year, mainly because of a challenge my daughter (who's a doctor) presented to me and my husband.   She said she'd have one if we did so I said, "sure, why not?"  It wasn't bad and now I don't have to have another one for ten years.  My husband, however, chickened out and I can gloat that I had one and he didn't  :)  My daughter is off the hook...for now.

I admit that it's been two years since I've had a mammogram but because of my friend's experience, I'm definitely going to schedule one soon.  I promise!

Procrastination

Do you have a problem with procrastinating?  I like to think I'm pretty good with the big things...things like deadlines, appointments, bills and things like that but little things?...I don't understand why I wait so long!

A year ago, my minivan died.  I got a new (to me) car and was going to find a new owner for the non-working van but somehow, I never got around to it...until yesterday.  Can you believe it?  I waited a whole year and every time I went outside or drove into the driveway I saw that pathetic minivan and vowed to get it taken care of...soon.  I kept it washed and shiny so it wouldn't look like an abandoned car but in reality, that's what it was.

All it took was five minutes on the phone and that afternoon someone came with a tow truck and a check for me and they towed away the van.  Why did I wait that long!!!

I wonder what else I can take care of? 

A spring surprise

My daughter and son-in-law surprised me with a beautiful spring bouquet of flowers yesterday and then today two of my grandchildren decided to add butterflies to it.  Somehow, the butterflies add the perfect touch of whimsy to the arrangement  :)  When I look at it, it reminds me of the love I have for my children and grandchildren and how blessed I am to have them in my life. 

It's the simple things that count...

A diet experiment - Part 2

Last month I wrote a blog post about my husband's diet experiment (March 18,2013).  Now, a month later, he's still on it and doing well.  He's lost over 10 pounds so far and his diabetes is showing signs of improvement.  I admit, I didn't think he'd stick to it for this long nor did I think that he'd still be enthusiastic about it.  In the last month, he's gone without meat, dairy and most grains (except whole grains).

It's been a learning process for me...coming up with new recipes and meals that are well balanced without ingredients that I am used to using.  I am learning how to cook dried beans.  I'm making more soups.  I'm discovering which ingredients go well together and which don't!   If you think about it, most of us rely on a few well-tested recipes for most of our meals.  I'm having to start from scratch in coming up with new "favorites". 

Probably the most important thing I've learned over the month is that no matter how hard you want to help your husband (especially regarding health), he is the one who has to decide to change.  Until he makes that decision, nothing is going to be successful in the long term.  It's taken over 10 years but he is finally seeing that his food habits and lifestyle have a major impact on his health. 

I know, it applies to us too.  And this diet is definitely helping me eat more healthily...although I do have a chocolate stash for desperate times  :)

Denial

I was having lunch today with a good friend (actually, her son married my daughter!) and we were talking about finding ourselves in this new stage of life.  Something she said really struck me - how it seemed to sneak up on us.  One day we're busy, active mothers with too much to do and all of a sudden, we find ourselves wondering what to do now.  

Maybe it was denial but I really didn't think about the next stage of life until I was experiencing it firsthand.  I started asking friends how they were managing.  All expressed some level of adjustment they've had to make that was unexpected.  Some have experienced depression or grief over losing their purpose in life.  Some are finding that they have to get to know their husband all over again.  Some are discovering new health worries.  Some are thinking about their own mortality for the first time. 

Whatever adjustment has to be made, it's all for the best.  Change is good for us.  It helps keep us alive and active.  Without change, we become stagnant and things that are stagnant, die. 

Every stage has something for us to learn.  We've completed the active stage of parenting children at home and now it's time for something different.  Life still has much to offer.

Communication

It's not often that I have two of my married daughters visiting at the same time so today was quite a treat.  At dinner, one of them brought up the topic of communication in marriage and that got a lively discussion going.  Here we were, a daughter who's been married almost 13 years, another daughter married only 8 months and my husband and me, married 37 years, talking about the problems we encounter in communicating with our spouses.

We came to the conclusion that men and women think differently.  :)  No surprise there but something that all of us forget when actually trying to communicate.  Why can't our husbands see things the way WE see them?  I can't even imagine what THEY think!  Why is it so hard to understand each other? 

The thought has run through my mind occasionally that I'd like to be able to read my husband's mind.  And then I think that I probably don't want to know.  Too confusing  :)

At least there's rarely a dull moment...

Spare time?

I wonder why people think empty nesters have so much spare time on their hands.  Sure, the kids have left but most of the things I did while my kids were home, I still have to do...things like housework, laundry, budgeting, meal prep and cooking, yardwork, and dealing with numerous unexpected crises. 

When the kids were home, we split up the chores so everyone had responsibilities and the work got completed quickly.  Without them, the work still has to be done but there's only one person doing them.  Not that I mind, I don't.  But it does take a bit more time. 

It's true that I DO have extra time but not as much as some people think.  How to spend that time is something I'm still trying to figure out.  I'm just thankful that I have options.

Success is the goal

Ever since we moved to our current home in the Pacific Northwest, we haven't had a successful vegetable garden.  The growing season is short, the soil is hard clay and deer love to frequent our property, looking for whatever we've planted for their dinner. 

This year, we are going to succeed. How's that for a positive attitude?  The plan is in place.  We spent the day today pricing different fencing materials.  We're going to have a 6 foot fence all around the garden. (deer can jump really high!)  We're going to make raised beds and fill them with suitable garden soil.  We can't do much about the growing season but we'll focus on plant varieties that ripen early. 

I'm sure if we price everything that it will take to produce a modest crop of vegetables, they'll be the most expensive veggies ever!  Oh well, with the infrastructure in place this year, hopefully we won't have to do it again in future years.  I can't wait to begin! 

Sorry deer...you'll have to find some place else to eat!

Cement blocks

Do we actually have to learn how to get along?!

Sometimes I think of my husband and me as two cement blocks...rough around the edges and difficult to move (stubborn?).  Our children were the grout that softened our edges and bound us all together.  Now that they are on their own, we're just two blockheads again.  :) 

Without that softening cushion, all the little annoyances and frustrations seem much bigger.  I know, it's all part of the transition process...reevaluating where we've been and what direction we want to go now.  But it's not comfortable and most of us like our comfort...me included.  I know that life is all about change and that change is part of growing and living so I should embrace this opportunity for the healthy process which it is.  But that requires me to admit that I need to go outside my comfort zone and learn something new...like maybe how to get along with my husband when it's just the two of us?  Sigh...yes, especially that!

Can two cement blocks find a bond that will keep them together without one or both cracking?  We'll see...:)

Timeless

Grandma and me

I just came across this picture of my grandmother and me when I was three months old.  What is especially special is that my grandmother was 58 which is how old I am now.  Fashion styles may change but love is timeless.  I miss her!

How do they do it?!

I was sitting with my almost 5 year old grandson while he was playing with his dad's iPhone
last night and I'm just in awe at the technological abilities of young children.  I know he's not the only little guy who is totally comfortable with technology but watching him maneuver the intricacies of a game was amazing!  The game was Pitfall and he advanced several levels, knowing when and how to slide his finger or tap his finger or tip the game to get through the different obstacles of the game.  I, on the other hand, was completely clueless.  Later, his one year old baby sister picked it up and immediately started sliding her finger across the screen.  Even SHE knows what to do!

Most of our generation learned how to use computers as adults and I don't know about you but I am still intimidated by them.  I have been known to wipe out hard drives and crash computers without even knowing how I did it!  Which is probably why I'm intimidated  :) 

I wonder if the kids in this new generation have an extra gene or something hardwired in their brains to automatically understand and be comfortable with computers and technology...maybe some kind of evolution...right before our eyes! 

A Dilemma

Today I'm asking for input.  I have two daughters-in-law who hate each other and aren't subtle about it.  Now, I understand that two people don't have to like each other and just because you marry into a family, that doesn't make you kindred spirits with everyone in the family.  But, I can't understand not being civil at family gatherings and being polite.  I would be horrified if any of my children were rude at their in-laws home.  Basic manners are part of any group dynamic.

I'm not comfortable talking with either of them or my sons because I don't want to alienate any of them or fracture the relationship further.  Yet, if this continues, I can see it resulting in one or both of them refusing to attend any family function if SHE is there.

I love both my daughters-in-law and want them to feel like they are a part of the larger extended family.  I love my sons and want to see them support and encourage each other. I don't want my family to be divided.

Any suggestions? 

Glorious sunshine!

  My daughter in short sleeves and a sun visor!  Wow!

Driving home from Utah is a fourteen hour trip and normally it is quite dull and monotonous... although I DO like cows!  :)  This time it was different.  The sun was shining brightly, there were signs of Spring everywhere, I was listening to good upbeat music and I just felt joyous!  Because I live in the Pacific Northwest (called the Pacific Northwet for a reason!), I haven't seen the sun in MONTHS and this time of year can be especially hard because everyone is so tired of rain, grey
clouds and dreary weather that being crabby and cantankerous is almost expected.  So, it was such a treat to bask in sunshine for eight whole days.  I loved it!

I think we forget sometimes how much our environment affects our moods. Maybe we should all move to Arizona! 

Oh, by the way, I'm home now and it's cold and raining...as usual  :)

"Tomorrow is another day"

When my kids were little, we used a form of discipline we called "behavior chips".  Behavior chips were actually just white poker chips and each child started the day with ten chips.  Misbehavior resulted in the loss of a chip and if a child got below a certain number of chips in a day, he'd usually get sent to bed early or lose a privilege or something like that.  And then the next day, he'd start back with ten chips and a clean slate.

Why am I telling you this?  Well, this morning my adult son told me that behavior chips taught him that no matter how bad a day was, he knew that the next day he could start with a perfect, unblemished day.  I hadn't thought of that in years but it's true even now.  It's easy to get discouraged or upset by things that go wrong but we don't have to let it continue to affect us.  We can start each day fresh and with new hope and determination to make things better. 

As Scarlett O'Hara said in Gone with the Wind, " Tomorrow is another day."

Happy April!

I'll be traveling today and tomorrow and won't have access to a computer so I'll be back on Wednesday.  Happy April!  Watch out for April Fool's Day jokes!